you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
