do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
