Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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