your room smells of hookers.
And success
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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