So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
