After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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