and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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