he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
