Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
