Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think I am morally bankrupt
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
be right there i have to get my cape
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
