took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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