Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
