Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
