I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
