My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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