those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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