I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
