Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
