Define "chronic" masturbator.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think I sprained my soul last night
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Randomize
