i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
