he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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