HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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