saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
