No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
