is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
