if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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