we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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