Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
