YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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