she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
