if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
