grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
