If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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