She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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