OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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