There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
