is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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