he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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