I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
