Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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