yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
