i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
