Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I want to fling myself into the sun
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
