He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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