Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
