I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
