Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
