Apparently you make a good broom.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
