Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
