he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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