I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
