I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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