What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
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