areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
