i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
either way he was missing a nipple.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
