Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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