I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
