all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Dignity is for republicans.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
