He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
high people should be assigned attendants
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
