We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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