fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
