I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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