Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
