we have pet lesbian snakes
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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